Don't Move
by Raawiyah
Summary: Sometimes your true enemy is not the one you are fighting. Warning: first chapter is a little violent. Katara & Zuko R&R are soooo greatly appreciated
1. Chapter One

I don't own ATLA :(

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**Don't Move**

"Don't move it." Katara had said.

Zuko ignored her. He was only trying to help. Katara had a nasty habit of cutting him off when ever he tried to do anything that integrated himself in the day to day activates of the group. He felt she went out of her way to indicate that he wasn't needed. He was sick of it. It wasn't what she had said but how she had said it. It was the disdain dripping from her voice that sent him over the edge.

Zuko ignored her. He underestimated the pot's weight and he dropped it… costing them not just the pot but the dinner she had made in it.

When Zuko had suggested that he go to recently abandoned makeshift camp to retrieve a pot that he had left behind it made Katara nervous. When he asked Aang and Sokka if they wanted to go with him she jumped in. It was too convenient. There was no way she was going to let Aang or Sokka go anywhere with Zuko. They both acted as if Zuko had indeed changed. Even Sokka had taken her to the side and asked her to lighten up on Zuko. When she argued he stated that Toph had said that Zuko could be trusted. Katara knew she wasn't crazy. She hadn't forgotten even if Aang and Sokka pretended they had. She'd seen this song and dance before and she knew what was coming next. She sent Sokka out to gather more food, Aang to get water and Haru to retrieve more wood for a new fire.

Katara went with Zuko herself.

Katara was not surprised when they were ambushed at his "abandoned" campsite. In fact she was fully prepared for it. She expected Zuko to have some trick up his sleeve. She expected Zuko to pretend it was a true attack by fighting full force. But what she was not prepared for was what he did next

"Don't-" was Katara had the time to get out before Zuko crashed into her. She would have knocked her head hard enough for it to swell if he had not braced their fall the way he did. She saw the waves of flames ripple over them. She felt the suffocating heat against her face. She felt Zuko's back arch violently as his right leg slid forcibly between her own. His finger nails dug into her shoulder, breaking skin. His face contorted in pain, his lips pulled back exposing his white white teeth .. but he didn't roll off. He stayed shielding her with his body. Sacrificing his flesh for her own.

For a moment it stunned them both. Neither of them moved. She lay still under his full weight with his heart beat rapidly invading her own. Even though he knew their final assailant was hovering over them there was nothing Zuko could do... his body refused to respond to his commands. It didn't matter. Katara had already formed the dagger of ice within her hand and when he raised his arms to deliver the finishing blow she sent it into his heart with a simple flick of her wrist. Zuko watched him die in the cold hard reflection of her eyes and then all he saw was darkness.

tbc...


	2. Chapter Two

_Author's Note: Thanks so much to everyone who has reviewed this story and who has taken the time to read it. You guys flipping rock!! It really means alot since this story has been kicking my ass. I hope to finish it in the next day or so. Thank you for your patience!_

_ps I don't own ATLA if I did Katara would out angst Zuko hands down_

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It is raining by time Katara finishes what she knows to be the first of many healing treatments. It is just a light drizzle but she can see the heavy dark clouds in the distance, feel the ice cut across the wind, hear the hungry rumble of the approaching storm silencing all other sound in the open space around her...the gathering of her element is imminent.

Katara would not be able to make it back to the temple on her own. She knows that as well. She had been so intent on watching Zuko's every move that she had not given attention to exactly where they were going. She could stumble around a bit. Find a path back but that would mean leaving Zuko unconscious, out in the open, defenseless.

Maybe she should leave him now… just as they should have left him then. A life time ago in the snow and ice of the North. If they had she wouldn't have come so close to losing Aang...she wouldn't have lost Jet. But even as Katara knows she can leave him, probably should leave him, she won't.

Zuko needs her.

Aang needs a fire bending teacher.

Katara needs to be able to face herself in the morning.

Her only option is to stay with Zuko, wait out the storm, wait till morning. Sokka and Aang would find them. Well Momo would and everyone else would be close behind. She could do it. Get both of them someplace safe. She has a vague memory of a cave half a mile back. She can make it there. It will be raining harder soon anyway and any one who has the gall to attack a master water bender during a storm deserves every bit of what they get. She can make it.

And she does.

It's raining cold, blinding, unforgiving drops by time Katara collapses in a breathless aching heap besides Zuko. Dragging him and a nights worth of supplies proved to be a more difficult task than she was prepared for. Her hands, her arms, her shoulders burn from it. Her back feels broken by it. All she wants to do is close her eyes and let the ache dissolve away into her dreams but Zuko whimpers, once, softly and she is on hands and knees slowly, mechanically, painfully collecting water and starting a fire.

It's only after Katara completes a second pass over Zuko's wounds and rebinds his back in the freshly cleaned rain soaked fabric of her tunic that she tries to get some rest.

She can't do it.

She can't because all she _can do_ is think of how all of this is his fault. Because of Zuko Katara has spent most nights of the past year just like this. Hiding in foreign forests or dark, damp caves. Hunted and hungry. Because of Zuko Katara has left friends to die in twisted underground catacombs and because of Zuko Katara has been more than willing to kill in the name of peace, in the name of righteousness... and even though she loathes to admit it she has been all too willing to kill in the bitter name of vengeance.

Just when she had found hope, just when she found a way out, just when she had found a way to heal he came crashing in. Into her village, into her world, past a wall of snow and ice, dragging with him all the awful memories, the worst of memories. When Zuko, a monster with a head full of horns snatched Gran Gran away from her it was mother all over again.

Zuko made all the broken jagged pieces of Katara's shattered world screamed out in a hungry, blind rage that she fights desperately to control and hide from every else.

It surfaces in every nightmare, with every conflict.

Katara had felt it most when she battled Zuko. With each blow exchanged it would come to the surface, lick at her skin, surround her, push her forward.

_Make them pay. _It would whisper sweetly into her ear.

_Make them pay… make him pay._

It whispers now.

And maybe it's the lack of sleep, the sharp coldness in the air or lighting ripping across the night sky that is a painful reminder of Azula but she listens to it.

She thought that it would be more satisfying. She had imagined that the knotted ball within her would loosen, that the pain that squatted in the base of her skull would dissipate. That the held breathe within her lungs would release so she could finally breathe. But she doesn't feel that. All she feels is the muscles of his abdomen harden involuntary and the cold clamminess of his skin as the top of her foot meets full force with the softness of the unconscious prince's stomach. All she hears is the dull thud and a yawning moan that echoes into the emptiness of the cave… A death's knell for the innocent child she should have been

She kicks him a second time just to be sure and a third time out of sheer frustration before she crumples in a defeated heap besides him.

The voice still whispering in her ear. Taking long sweeping strokes up her back as she sobs.

_Make him pay… it is not enough… it will take a way the hurt… it will satisfy you, soothe the ache. Make him pay. Do more. He deserves more, you deserve more._

But the smaller voice deep within answers in return.

_Don't move_

And she doesn't

_Don't move_

And Katara stays there with her tears raining onto the swollen and blistered skin of Zuko's back.

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Zuko's back is so cold that it aches. He can hear a voice filtering down to him. He can't understand what it is saying. There is softness below him pressed against his chest. There is a low growl and a slight vibration and he knows he is laying on Appa. His momentary relief is quickly replaced by an engulfing wave of nausea. He forces himself up, knocking the hands away in the process and crawls forward trying not to heave on Appa. The coldness that leaves his back is replaced with a searing pain. His hands go from under him. He collapses back.

There is a louder growl below him, a stronger vibration. It doesn't sound threatening, he knows what that sounds like. This is calmer, concerned. A sharp contrast to voice which sounds vastly annoyed to, at and with him. Appa growls again. And for Zuko it is surprisingly soothing. He feels the coolness engulf him again. He fights to remain conscious and get a bearing on his situation. He wants to stay awake long enough to find out what happened to Katara and make sure that she is okay. But as the hands wash over him, as the voice softens and moves within him he is swept back into oblivion his unspoken words following fast and forgotten within his wake.

·.¸¸.·´´¯··..··.¸¸.·´´¯··..·

Katara's wide awake as soon as Zuko begins to thrash besides her. She reacts quickly pining his arms down with her legs to keep him from rolling over onto his back. She struggles to keep him still as she checks the bindings on his back. The skin is not fully recovered but it doesn't seem to be infected. Its cool to the touch neither clammy nor hot. She can't figure it out and Appa's growling isn't helping much.

"Zuko stop!" Her voice comes from her with more severity that she means it to. He doesn't. He is screaming and it's too familiar a sound.

Mother had died in that firenation raid. But it wasn't the wound that killed her. It was the infection that set in afterwards.

The raid had come in the middle of a harsh winter. What ever herbs that survived the flames were impotent anyway. There were no waterbenders. There were no healers. Katara wasn't then what she is now. It was a long and difficult death and well before the end of it the woman that she had known as mother had long since passed away from the world.

Mother died in a fire nation raid… only her screams remained.

"Please... please stop" She leans forward her hair brushing his shoulder, her breath warm against his neck. Close to his ear. She wasn't going to lose her. She couldn't lose her. "Please... please... please." She says over and endlessly until her throat hurts and her voice is a ghost of a whisper. "Please stop"

She continues. Long after he is still, long after he is calmed. Long after his breath begins to rise and fall evenly in a deep and peaceful sleep. She is trembling by time she pulls herself off of him. She is weeping as she tries to get control of herself.

But before she can move away completely Zuko's hand catches her right wrist. "Don't leave me." His grip tightens as his hand becomes uncomfortable warm. "Mother don't leave me."

Katara's heart stops painfully in her chest and she wants to tear herself out of his grasp. Instead she reaches down with her left hand and brushes Zuko's hair away from his face. She winds her fingers around the dark dark strands and grips them a little to tightly as she tells him exactly what she wishes someone had told her. Years before... on a dark dark night under a full pale moon as a small ship was pushed to sea guided by a flickering lantern to join the stars above.

She tells him what she wishes her mother had told her. As she leaned over the edge of that tiny boat one last time. Her slight weight making it tip just a little, just enough for her hand to grip the softness of her mothers midnight hair. She didn't want to let go.

"I won't."


	3. Chapter Three

"I said I won't." Zuko's voice sounds harsher than he wants it to.

"Then why are you still moving?" Katara hisses back. "Honestly what were you thinking?"

Zuko opens his eyes to stare at the inside of Katara's thigh. The white of her binding is a sharp contrast against her dark skin. Her muscles flex as she works the water over his back. He exhales deeply... disappointed. He is tried of walking on glass with her, tried of bearing the brunt of her aggression.

"How long have I been out?"

"Three days."

"Where are we?"

"It was too dangerous to move you. We'll bring you back to the temple tonight. "

"I was trying to help you."

"What?"

"You asked what I was thinking... I was thinking that I could help you."

"I don't need your help." She mumbles thoughtlessly.

The words are out of his mouth before he can stop them, "I'll remember that."

Katara's natural flow falters for a moment. She knows that she should apologize, make some small reconciliation but when she opens her mouth (despite the best of intentions) she bites. "See that you do"

Zuko feels the cold bandages fall into place. "I'm going to move you so you can eat. I don't want you to help. Your skin has healed but it is still very sensitive." It takes all of his will power not to resist her sitting him up and positioning him. Not to snap at her about the unnecessary over cautious handling.

Katara kneels in front of him with a small beat up bowl and wooden spoon. He recognizes them instantly as one of the few things he had left from his time in Ba Sing Se. He had tossed it into his bag before he returned to the Fire Nation. He never unpacked. That bag stayed in a corner of his room leering at him. He hated looking at it and he did want anyone else to touch it. In the end it was one less inconvenience to handle when he decided to leave.

Katara slaps Zuko's hand down as he reaches for the bowl.

She feeds him.

"I... you didn't have to do what you did. I was ready for that attack."

"Katara, " as soon as he opens his mouth she maneuvers a spoonful of stew between his lips.

"Don't talk with your mouth full it's rude... what I mean to say is that I hate you. It's nicer to say that I hate what you did. But I really hate you." She states it calmly and its as if she had said dinner was ready, Appa needs a bath or Sokka is an idiot. But in spite of the cool even level of her voice her hands are shaking as she spoons up more stew.

He holds his mouth closed.

"Open your mouth... you have to eat. The longer it takes for you to get well the longer Aang goes without a fire bending teacher. The less time he has to train so..."

"This isn't going to work Katara." His voice, just as emotionless as hers had been.

Zuko watches her hands as she puts the bowl down, he hears the click of the earthen dish coming in contact with the ground and echo out into the thick silence. When she speaks her voice is low, a threatening growl bordering the edges. "Are you backing out?"

"No. I will teach Aang and I will put every bit of myself into it. But it's not going to work because Aang won't truly trust me if you don't trust me."

"Don't use me as an excuse. Aang's can make his own decisions."

"Not when he looks to you for approval. That's why I am working so hard to earn everyone's trust- your trust"

"Earn my trust! By what, getting yourself burned?! It was foolish. It was a stupid stupid thing to do"

Zuko stares at her for a moment before letting his head drop to his chest. His hair falls over his face, his shoulders shake and he laughs. He honestly laughs. "No. It was smart... whether or not you trust me. Aang will now. Because I have saved someone that he loves."

Katara slaps him so hard that her hand stings. She stands moving away from him quickly. More out of fear of herself than of him. "Don't you dare, dare attempt to use me to get to Aang"

He is up in a second and has her by her arms. A pain that he can not feel sears its way across his back. All he_ can feel_ is the need to shake her, scream at her, break through to her. It's too much like that night at the lake. Accept she isn't a little girl anymore, he isn't a banished prince and it isn't the Avatar he's after. Zuko is mostly a man and Katara is almost a woman, what he so desperately wants now is her acceptance.

"What other choice do I have!? You aren't exactly leaving me with any options!"

"I'm not the monster! I'm not the one that repeatedly tried to kill a 12 year old monk, I'm not the one that burns down villages, attacks monasteries or kidnaps girls."

"I can't keep arguing with you about the past Katara. Now ... right now I have done everything right while swallowing every spiteful word you've spit out! I'm here, I'm fighting besides you. What is it going to take for you to trust me?"

"Not until you're hunted down like a ratsnake or see the ones you love locked up and hurt and killed. Not until you know what that's like will I ever, ever-" Her voice is shaking worse than she is.

"I do"

"You lie" she screams in a voice filled with so much grief that it barely resembles her own. The sound of it ruins Zuko. "You lie!" For the first time since that day when Katara threatened him he looks into her eyes. He sees bitterness born of betrayal, the anguish of abandonment, a rage raised from rejection... Zuko sees himself. He lets her go.

"This isn't the first time I've woken up with no idea of where I am Katara. I know just as well as you. I know what it is like to lose a mother, to watch your loved ones carried off in chains. I know that it is like to be hunted, to be hungry. I know what it is like to be tossed away by a father... to not be good enough. I know what it like is to keep going. To keep moving forward even thought the entire world, the entire universe; the Spirits themselves are against you. I know Katara" His voice is shaking too.

She isn't going to feel sorry for him. Zuko has deserved everything that has happened to him. For being borne into Fire Nation, for being borne into royalty, for being borne... for being borne. Katara sends her hate before her like a shield but instead of giving her space to breathe a moment to think it wraps back against her... winds around her throat so tightly that she is suffocating.

"I hate you."

"I know."

"I hate what you did to us."

"I know."

"I hate what you did to me."

He is quiet for a long time. The only sound between them is her tortured breath and her caged pacing. Zuko waits for the words, the right words. They come with certainty and clarity. It's painful to speak them. Not because it is a lie but because he wishes with all his heart that someone had said them to him

"I'm sorry."

"I hate what you're doing to me."

"I'm sorry Katara."

She stops pacing, her voice is low, her shoulders roll forward, she crosses her arms over herself. "I don't want to hate you... I'm so tired of hating you. It makes my head hurt."

Zuko takes a step towards her. Katara does not back away

"I'm sorry for what happened to you Katara. To your family, to your people. They were wrong. We were told this horrible lie and it was wrong. I was wrong. _I'm _sorry for what I put _you_ through. There are things I will regret for the rest of my life and what happened to you is among them... Do you hear me Katara? I'm sorry, me... I'm sorry."

He is close enough to touch her.

Katara looks up at Zuko. Her eyes are large and wet... sweeping out like the vast, wide and endless ocean with a storm coming hard and fast upon the horizon. Zuko does not break his gaze even when Katara slaps him again. Hard. Twice.

She does not want his apology or his pity. She does not want to see him hurting and vulnerable. Like a real human being. Like a real person. Like she is. He catches the third strike easily, holds her arm tightly. Zuko's grasp is so draining to Katara and all she can do is stand there wide open and frustrated with herself. And because she can't move past him, because she can't get away from him she goes to her knees before him.

Zuko follows Katara down, catching her up in his arms as he repeats the words over and over again. _I'm sorry. _ And each time he says it a broken bit that has cut into her for the past seven years dissolves into her blood and is carried away by a heavy breath and a shaking sob.

The overwhelming waves of rage and grief suddenly stop crashing into her, stops washing her away. For the first time since Katara can remember the screams within are silent. It is a dull, hollowing, resounding ache. It is a sharp and high relief and to keep herself from floating away Katara anchors to Zuko. She is still.

It startles them both when her arms awkwardly wind around him, when her hands press gently to his back. Her voice is a soft whisper heavily laced with exhaustion.

"Zuko...you've damaged the skin again. Why don't you listen to me?"

He finds the sound of his name falling from her lips pleasant and he wants to hear her say it again. A cool sensation runs through him as he falls forward into her arms. He doesn't realize how much pain he is in until she takes it away.

"I told you not to move." She feels his breath on the hollow of her neck. His heart beat presses against her calm and steady matching her own.

Zuko's reply is a barely audible whisper.

"I won't"

And neither does Katara.


End file.
